The top ten factors that might cause a covert narcissist to become agitated are discussed in today's topic, which you may not have thought about previously. Since they are often better at hiding their feelings than overt or malicious narcissists, they are frequently referred to as hidden narcissists.
But there are some things that can frighten them and make them go into full-blown panic mode, and I'll tell you what those things are today. Here are some factors that may cause a covert narcissist to worry that you may not have previously thought of. Let's get started immediately.
Number 1: Being seen as ordinary.
Covert narcissists think that they are every bit as special and superior as overt narcissists do but feel completely underappreciated for their specialness and talents. So when they feel as though someone views them as ordinary, this can ignite their fury, making them feel devalued, disrespected, and completely misunderstood.
It can also make them feel even further victimized by the people. They perceive viewing them as just ordinary, which can provoke them to retaliate against these people with passive-aggressive put-downs, a long period of silent treatment, or even a smear campaign.
Number 2: When they are exposed
They tend to panic when they are exposed to independent thinkers or anyone who might challenge their perspective or point of view. Narcissists, in general, do not like people who are not easily manipulated or influenced, and the covert narcissist is not an exception to this rule. Narcissists do not like to be challenged, and people who disagree with them or offer a differing opinion from their own can feel threatened by a covert narcissist.
Normal, educated people are usually open to other points of view and opinions and see that as conversation-enhancing, covert narcissists tend to view that as an indication of disrespect and attempts to humiliate them.
Number 3: When they see others succeed in areas where they have failed.
This activates their deep feelings of inferiority, jealousy, and envy. Most times, they will view this as further evidence of how life has cheated them and how victimized they are. They usually will not view this other person as genuinely being more talented than they are in this particular situation, but rather they will see this as more proof that someone undeserving has once again stolen the spotlight away from them, who is much more deserving.
Again, this can provoke the covert narcissist to retaliate against this person by smearing them behind their back or sarcastically putting them down and degrading their accomplishments.
Number 4: Covert narcissists tend to panic if they receive ambiguous praise.
They do not take kindly to compliments that are vague or lukewarm. To them, that means you are not fully appreciating their talents with the respect and recognition they are deserving of. They truly believe that all the praise that they receive should rocket them into a stratosphere of greatness above, and beyond what this person has ever witnessed before.
Anything short of that type of acknowledgment tends to make them not only angry because they view that as disrespectful, but it also can ignite their underlying shame. And feelings of worthlessness that they are desperately trying to fight off with the necessary levels of narcissistic supply that they require.
Number 5: Being asked personal questions.
Number one, they do not like to be challenged, but they also fear these types of interactions because they fear that sharing too much could reveal their insecurities or, even worse, their inconsistencies. Remember, nothing is more important to a covert narcissist than their image of how others view them, and being put on the spot with personal questions can make them panic because almost everything they do and say is very carefully crafted and scripted.
So impromptu questions of a personal nature that they had not prepared for and meticulously crafted ahead of time make them feel incredibly vulnerable. They can even view these interactions as intentional malicious acts by the person who posed the questions, as that would likely be their motivation if the tables were turned.
Number 6: They hate encounters with genuine experts.
Again, these people feel incredibly vulnerable if they deem an interaction could expose any of their insecurities, inconsistencies, or lack of knowledge or depth. So people who are more educated than they are about certain topics feel incredibly threatened by the covert narcissists and will activate their terror of exposure.
They want to be viewed as the most educated, special, talented, and trusted individuals in the room at all times and usually will avoid situations with anyone they view as more knowledgeable than they are.
Number 7: When they are excluded from gossip.
Not being included in social chatter or gossip can make them feel left out and unimportant, but it can also really ignite the paranoia that possibly the gossip is about them in a negative context. Covert narcissists love to cause problems and drama for other people behind their backs, so if they are excluded from gossip, many times they will become terrified that gossip must be about them and they are in danger of exposure.
Number 8: Ignored in group settings or like the people in the group treat them unequally.
Covert narcissists seek constant admiration, validation, and acknowledgment from other people, and they do indeed believe they are so special that that type of attention is warranted. And when they are not given the attention, praise, and acknowledgment they feel they are deserving of in a group setting, which is going to be a problem for them. They will feel disrespected, slighted, offended, and victimized. How dare other people not show them the attention and recognition they believe they are deserving of?
Number 9: When they feel their allies or flying monkeys have been disloyal to them.
All narcissists expect their flying monkeys to be 1000% loyal to them and the image that they are trying to promote at all times, under all circumstances. So when they feel that one of those people is not adequately loyal and devoted to them, that is going to be a huge problem.
Remember, covert narcissists expect their enablers to do much of their dirty work so they can remain adequately hidden and their true character masked. So when someone betrays their trust, I can guarantee you that specific flying monkey orally is going to suffer some form of punishment from this narcissist one way or the other. The covert narcissist will get the message to them loud and clear that their disloyalty will not be tolerated.
Number 10: Experience humor at their expense.
Covert narcissists take themselves incredibly seriously. They want to feel respected and admired at all times, so if and when someone makes them the butt of their joke, they will not be pleased. To them, that is an act of complete disrespect, even a light-hearted joke that was not intended to upset or disrespect them in any way.
They do not have any sense of humor when it comes to themselves and
how they believe they should be treated. Covert narcissists are serious
about other people showing them respect and dignity, and becoming the
punch line of someone else’s joke can feel like a serious threat to
their ego.