.webp "How to Torture a Narcissist (Without Losing Yourself)")
Today, ladies and gentlemen, we're going to explore four effective strategies that can cause a narcissist mental distress. These techniques aim to lessen their importance in your life, confront their delusion, and cut off their narcissistic supply. These techniques can help you recover control and safeguard your well-being when interacting with a narcissistic parent, partner, or coworker. But keep in mind that safety comes first. Before using these strategies, make sure you have authority. Let's begin.
Tactic 1 – Reduce Narcissist’s Significance in Your Life
Step number one, and probably the most powerful one is the basis for everything else I’m gonna be able to teach you today you must reduce the narcissist’s significance in your life. Do not fake this. Do not act as though they are no longer as significant as they used to be. Make them less significant than they used to be.
If you wanna create distress, if you wanna create anguish, uncertainty, insecurity, and paranoia, you must reduce their significance. Don’t fake it because they’re smart in terms of detecting other people’s emotional states. They cannot detect their emotional states, cannot self-reflect, or have very little capacity. But they can map other human beings frighteningly well.
If you genuinely do this, you won’t need to put on an act. They’ll feel it, they’ll know it, and it will drive them insane with anguish because the whole superstructure of their personality is in being significant to everybody but particularly to their targets. So, reduce their significance.
What does that mean? It means that even inside of the relationship, you need to let go of being with them. If it’s your mother or father, you’ve gotta grieve the fact that you never had and never will have a mother or father. Grieve, cry, go to therapy, feel sad, write poetry whatever you need to do. And in the end, you won’t be attached to them being a good mother or father. You’ll have let it go, and you’ll have reduced their significance.
If it’s a romantic relationship, grieve, cry, go to therapy, let it go. Drop the idea they’re ever gonna be a husband, a wife, a father, or a mother. They’re not. Despair, grieve, and let it go. You will reduce their significance. That’s step number one.
Tactic 2 – Challenge Their Idealized Self
Step number two, the second piece of advice I’ve got for you: the second method for torturing a narcissist would be to challenge their narcissistic idealized self. If you can challenge, deride, mock, and devalue their false self which is their idealized, fantastical, delusional story of how wonderful, se*xy, powerful, intelligent, rich, whatever they are if you can find ways of poking holes in that from a position of reduced significance (they’re in a state of reduced significance for you, so you are pretty indifferent, you’re pretty cold, you’re pretty detached), and you just gently suggest to them that their false self once you’ve figured out and you’ve mapped exactly what the paradigms of that false self are once you’ve mapped that, and you slowly, subtly over time challenge that, you will send them into an absolute blind fury because this creates a massive amount of narcissistic injury.
Obviously, with everything I’m telling you here today, you need to make sure, as a sovereign adult using an entertaining YouTube video, that you are safe when you do this. That you’re dealing with a narcissist, not a psychopath, and that the power dynamic of the relationship doesn’t mean that, for example, they can take custody of your kids, kick you out of a house, drop you from a job, drop you from a team, or dump you. You need to be smart before trying to do any of this because if you inflict narcissistic injury and they go into a narcissistic rage, their response will be disproportionate. They will pursue you to punish you for having inflicted this narcissistic injury against them.
I’m just showing you how to create mental anguish in somebody with narcissistic personality disorder. What you do with this information is on you. Map their false self, map the specific paradigms of the false self, feed it back to them, and then gently you don’t have to be bold; it’s better to do it the way they do it, in an insidious, cold, maybe even mocking or sneering way challenge those elements of the false self, which is what they’re most insecure about because secretly inside, they know that the false self is false. And you will create a massive amount of mental anguish in them.
Tactic 3 – Go to Therapy
The third tactic I wanna show you to torture the narcissist is probably the healthiest thing I’m gonna suggest today: you go to therapy. Go to therapy. Don’t go to therapy to torture them. Go to therapy to heal. Go to therapy to get better. Go to therapy to get over the relationship with them, to grieve the relationship with them, to let it go. Go to therapy to heal the wounds that caused you to get into that relationship with them and start to live a better life focused on more joy, more passion, and more happiness. Do what you wanna do.
The narcissist is gonna try and coerce you, press you, and bully you into a dark, nasty, cold, oppressive, imprisoning, and enslaving world. If you break free of that world and refuse to live in a dark, oppressed, enslaving world instead, you’re in a sun-shining, optimistic, happy, and bright one you will drive them completely insane because you are simultaneously reducing their significance and their power, and you are challenging the false self just by doing this.
The notion of you being free, not needing them, being free from them, being happy without them, and going on and living a good life without them having poisoned you, warped you, or permanently damaged you will drive them completely insane because it destroys their narcissistic self-image. All of the anguish you can cause a narcissist is going to be through either reducing their narcissistic supply or destroying or damaging the false self-narcissistic image.
Tactic 4 – Mess with Their Supply (EXPOSE THEM)
The fourth method for torturing the narcissist that I suggest you use if you feel it’s safe and you feel it’s right to do so is to mess with their supply in a very, very specific way.
So, narcissistic supply was identified decades ago as something that the narcissistic personality-disordered individual needs. It’s not love, it’s not friendship, it’s not an authentic reciprocal relationship with another human being. They need their version of love and attention. It’s highly narcissistic, and it is for them like shooting up a drug. It’s a narcissistic supply.
If you mess with that narcissistic supply if you make them feel like they’re gonna be cut off from that narcissistic supply you’re gonna create the kind of distress, anguish, and anxiety that a junkie would feel if they felt like they were gonna run out of junk, like they were gonna lose their ability to get hold of more junk.
If you want to aggravate them, the threat or the potential in this scenario should be that the supply is gonna be permanently damaged in a scenario, in an institution, with a particular individual that they value because they don’t value all sources of supply the same. So, be cunning, as you were earlier. Map which sources of supply they’re very dependent on or they’re very, very attached to, and threaten to permanently damage those sources of narcissistic supply by exposing the true nature of the narcissist.
So, we know with narcissistic personality disorder, at the level of the personality structure itself, there was an authentic self who, as a child, in response to a very oppressive and abusive environment, built a wall around themselves to protect themselves. And within that wall is a sort of a mirror a Perseus shield which distorts the truth. And everything that goes through well, first of all, very little reality breaks through this narcissistic shell.
But when it does, the little bits of reality that break through the narcissistic shell that which reach the little bit of authentic self that is left there (which is mainly dead because the authentic self dies in this isolation and shrivels to almost nothing) the little bits of reality that get through are distorted as they pass through the shield. They’re reframed, they’re reformatted so that the self that looks out at the world through the shield is looking also through a mirror, and that mirror is telling the narcissistic self what the narcissistic self wants to hear. That is the false image.
So, no matter what happens, the narcissist is desperately fighting to restructure what is happening to fit a preexisting fantasy-based narrative of how incredibly amazing they are. What does that mean? It means that generally speaking, in simpler language, there’s the real person the real narcissist and then there’s this fake image that they’re pushing out to the world.
Why do they push this fake image out to the world? To garner as much narcissistic supply, to become as significant as possible, to develop a false self, and to avoid narcissistic injury. It’s a defense. It’s defensive. So, they’re pumping this out to generate let’s say, predominantly to generate an emotional response in the people around them because they’re predominantly feeding off emotions. So, they’re trying to get reactions from people.
They are very fragile. So, they generate a false self. It’s a big performance. But what does that mean? It means the narcissist is very vulnerable. If you are in the middle of a narcissistic abusive relationship, you will see this overblown image of the narcissist, which is how they want you to see them. They’re all-powerful, they’re se*xy, they’re an alpha female, an alpha male whatever their nonsense story is or they’re the biggest martyr in the room, they’re the biggest victim you’ve ever known, they’ve suffered more than anybody else ever has, they’re Christ himself down from the cross (that would be more in line with covert narcissism or vulnerable narcissism). But they’re the biggest and best at something even if they’re the biggest and best at being tortured and abused and abandoned.
That’s what you believe when you’re in the middle of it. But when you look again, you’ll see the whole thing is an incredibly fragile, incredibly delicate facade that’s very easily broken.
So, if you threaten to expose them, what are you threatening to expose? What you’re threatening to expose is: that this is how they show themselves to the world. This is how they’ve shown themselves to this person. This is how they’ve shown themselves to this institution. This is how they’ve shown themselves to this industry. But you have evidence that the real person is like this.
Because of the PTSD element and the trauma-based element, there is a massive amount of splitting in narcissistic personality formations. There’s a massive amount of black and white. So, typically not always, but typically their real feelings about any subject are the opposite. So, they present as being very loving and very kind to, let’s say animals. They do lots of charity work with animals. But you live with them, and you know personally, despite all this virtue signaling for the outside world about how much they care about animal cruelty and so on, you see them treat animals with either contempt, cruelty, or total indifference.
So, that’s just a small example of something that could expose the truth of who they are that ruins the false self-image that they’re projecting to the world that would permanently damage a source of narcissistic supply. You don’t have to do this. The fear that it might happen is what will torture them and create a huge amount of mental anguish.