It's true that a person's eyes reveal a lot about their personality, making them the windows to their soul. For a narcissist, however, their eyes are the windows to their emptiness, hollowness, and rottenness, and eventually to their narcissistic core. Their narcissism, grandiosity, and entitlement are demonstrated by the distinctive eye movements and eye positions they adopt. Basically, these eye positions and motions reveal to us how they view you, the outside world, and their surroundings.
To understand this further, we are going to talk about four weird eye moments a narcissist makes and what they mean.
Before we get started, I have a question for you: What have you noticed in the narcissist’s eyes? What have been your experiences? Drop them in the comments below and help other survivors feel validated and connected. Also, make sure to share wherever you can because, as I always say, your sharing helps in spreading awareness about narcissistic abuse.
The Following Are The Top 4 Weird Eye Movements of a Narcissist:
Number 1: Weird side Audience Look.
A narcissist loves to lecture, loves to display their knowledge, and they love to talk, especially if it is an overt one. It is all a theatrical performance for a narcissist; everything is a show. They always assume people are paying attention, listening, and mesmerized by what they have to say. So, if you are present in the same environment where they are lecturing people, they will do something like this: while they’re talking, they’ll have a side-eye movement.
It seems weird because it’s like they are trying to see if you are paying attention to them, noticing how knowledgeable they are, and if you’re getting influenced and impacted by what they have to say—the “gems” that are coming out of their mouth. That is the delusional grandiosity in action. The side-eye look is almost like scanning the environment for all the attention they could possibly vacuum in to feel good about themselves.
They do not care about what they are saying, as long as they are saying it and making it seem like it’s the best thing that has ever been said, and they’re so knowledgeable. These side-eyes do not make sense to other people because you do not know what that was supposed to mean. If they were talking with this person or directing this audience, why would they have a side-eye look at you to know what you’re doing or if you are paying attention or not?
This is another proof of the narcissist’s fantasy world, where everybody is paying attention to them, listening to them, taking in all the information, and going like, “Yeah, yeah, you’re right! That’s absolutely spot on!” It is also proof of their insecure narcissistic self.
Number 2: Looking from the side of the eye to the floor.
The narcissist looks through the side of the eye, more towards the floor, and has a condescending or disgust-filled look or expression on their face.
This look is designed and fabricated for a couple of reasons, one of which is to shame you—to elicit a deep yet heavy emotional response from you so that you feel terrible about yourself. The narcissist has to feel like the biggest victim, especially if he is a covert, vulnerable narcissist. They have to make you feel that you have caused them so much harm: you have abandoned them, you have isolated them, you have hurt them the most, in the worst way possible, and for that, you should be ashamed of yourself.
That’s why this disgust-filled or condescending look on their face—maybe a little smirk or a smaller kind of thing—it’s a combination, very difficult to explain. But this kind of look, through the corner of the eye, more towards the left or right, on either side, and with this facial expression, is almost like they are hitting you, battering you psychologically, without putting a hand on you. This is why I say narcissistic abuse is pervasive; it breaks your soul, and sometimes, without even any actual event happening, without anything overtly done, they just don’t even have to touch you with their abusive body language. They can just break you, tear you apart, and you can hate yourself without actually knowing what made you do that, what triggered that self-hatred.
This is how they create a sense of obligation in you to become their savior, to fix the relationship for them when they are the ones causing all the damage. This is how they create this chronic sense of shame in you that takes over, and just an eye look becomes your Nemesis in a way—strong enough to make you berate yourself, gaslight yourself into thinking you are the worst human that has ever come to this earth, and now it’s your responsibility to uplift their ego and make them feel better.
Number 3: Up, down of the eyes when they look at you.
The narcissist looks you up and down with a smirk on their face, filled with disgust, and then removes their eyes from you as if they abandon and neglect you right in that moment through their eyes.
This look is also followed by somewhat of an eye roll. It’s not a full eye roll, but they look up and down while removing eye contact and may do a small eye roll with a smirk on their face. This subtle way of shaming the person is almost like telling them, “Who are you? How dare you? Don’t you know who I am? Don’t you see me? Don’t you see my greatness? Don’t you see how above I am compared to you?” They want you to feel insignificant before them, as if they are omnipotent and you stand nowhere before them.
This shaming breaks a person, especially if it is a narcissistic parent and you are their child. There are no words used, but their eye movements act as daggers to your soul, continuously looking at you in this way and shaming you, eroding your self-esteem. You may never be able to have a working functional self-concept, self-confidence, or self-worth when the person who was supposed to build that in you just kept destroying your identity bit by bit until you hardly knew who you are and what you stand for.
This kind of shaming through their eyes causes massive brain and soul injuries, which you then have to work on to reverse the damage and rebuild your confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth to become whole again. The narcissist’s eye look conveys the message that they are way above you, unaffected by what you say or your words, and that you’re insignificant before them. They emotionally thicken themselves, but in reality, they are emotionally invisible.
Number 4: The classic eye roll.
Now, I’m not saying that every person who rolls their eyes is a narcissist; of course not. I advise you to look at the bigger picture and not focus solely on these discrete elements. These eye moments are complementary things that come with the main narcissistic personality. Think of them as add-ons, not specific individual signs of narcissism. Looking at them individually without context may lead to confusion. I’m describing them to help you understand that these behaviors are also abusive, and they have a meaning behind them.
The classic eye roll is a way of shaming or telling you, “Here you go again with the same drama.” The narcissist tries to make you feel like a broken record, unable to let go of the past, or always causing problems. They might accuse you of pestering, arguing, complaining, nagging, being clingy, or just wanting drama or fights. This tactic is a destructive way of belittling you, making you feel small and voiceless. They aim to diminish your voice and make you feel like your issues are insignificant.
Sometimes, they combine the eye roll with big sighs, saying things like, “Oh my God,” or they put their hand on their face, as if you’re a burden they can’t stand. They want you to believe you are thick-headed and can’t understand the simplest things. They expect you to be a doormat and accept their behavior without questioning it.
They’ll gaslight you, insisting that you’re the one with all the problems, while they see themselves as perfect and flawless. They refuse to take responsibility for any issues in the relationship and make you believe that you’re always at fault.
In conclusion, these eye movements say a lot about their narcissistic personality, whether it’s the side look to seek attention, the up-down eye movement with disgust to shame you, or the classic eye roll to belittle you. Pay attention to their body language because it never lies, and this applies to them, no matter how great their facade is.